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17. There is no “I” in “teamwork.” But there is in “management kiss-up.”

16. If you do a good job and work hard, you may get a job with a better company someday.

15. The light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off due to budget cuts.

14. Doing a job RIGHT the first time gets the job done. Doing the job WRONG 14 times gives you job security.

13. If you think we’re a bad company, you should see the competition.

12. Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings–they did it by killing all those who oppose them.

11. We put the “k” in “kwality.”

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10. 2 days without a human rights violation.

9. Your job is STILL better than asking, “You want fries with that?”

8. We build great products when we feel like it and don’t have any reason to call in sick.

7. If at first you don’t succeed, try management.

6. Teamwork means never having to take all the blame yourself.

5. The beatings will continue until morale improves.

4. Pride, Commitment, Teamwork. Words we use to get you to work for free.

3. If at first you don’t succeed, delegate it.

2. Plagiarism saves time.

1. Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines.

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