Paul Shirley: Epic Haiti Fail

Paul Shirley is not in the mood to hear about Haiti’s problems.

The former NBA journeyman who played a grand total of 33 games with three teams over three seasons isn’t giving one red penny to Haiti.

Follow the whole story here: Haiti Earthquake

Turns out he agrees with Pat Robertson that the devastating earthquake that struck there earlier this month was their own fault. At least that’s what he says in this epic fail over on flipcollective.com.

“I haven’t donated a cent to the Haitian relief effort. And I probably will not.

I haven’t donated to the Haitian relief effort for the same reason that I don’t give money to homeless men on the street. Based on past experiences, I don’t think the guy with the sign that reads ‘Need You’re Help’ is going to do anything constructive with the dollar I might give him. If I use history as my guide, I don’t think the people of Haiti will do much with my money either.

… Shouldn’t much of the responsibility for the disaster lie with the victims of that disaster?”

Thank goodness for Paul Shirley. I don’t know how we all missed the fact that this was Haiti’s fault.

Oh, it gets better. He continues:

“Shouldn’t there be some discourse on how the millions of dollars that are being poured into Haiti will be spent? And at least a slight reprimand for the conditions prior to the earthquake? Some kind of inquisition? Something like this?:

Dear Haitians –

First of all, kudos on developing the poorest country in the Western Hemisphere. Your commitment to human rights, infrastructure, and birth control should be applauded.

As we prepare to assist you in this difficult time, a polite request: If it’s possible, could you not re-build your island home in the image of its predecessor? Could you not resort to the creation of flimsy shanty- and shack-towns? And could some of you maybe use a condom once in a while?
Sincerely,

The Rest of the World“

Lastly, there is this gem:

“A Haitian woman, days after the earthquake:

‘We need so much. Food, clothes, we need everything. I don’t know whose responsibility it is, but they need to give us something soon,’ said Sophia Eltime, a mother of two who has been living under a bed sheet with seven members of her extended family. (From an AP report.)

Obviously, a set of circumstances such as the one in which Ms. Eltime was living is a heart-wrenching one. And for that, anyone would be sympathetic. Until she says, ‘I don’t know whose responsibility it is.’ I don’t know whose responsibility it is, either. What I do know is that it is not the responsibility of the outside world to provide help. It’s nice if we do, but it is not a requirement, especially when people choose to influence their own existences negatively, whether by having too many children when they can’t afford them or by failing to recognize that living in a concrete bunker might not be the best way to protect one’s family, whether an earthquake happens or not.”

Who is Paul Shirley again? Some guy that barely played pro basketball, right? I guess this somehow gives him the knowledge and expertise to comment on global affairs. I’m glad that’s all it takes. I guess that makes me a guru.

It’s nice to know that if there are people suffering and even dying in various parts of the world, it’s really not our responsibility to do anything about it.

This means that we really just wasted our time in Iraq, doesn’t it? Hey, folks – sorry that your women are being raped and that Hussein guy is slaughtering people and being a real prick but it’s really not our problem. Get yourselves a better form of government next time.

The simple fact of the matter is that the people of Haiti simply do not have the money to build better homes, buildings, roadways, etc. They are about as poor as you can get. They were already in the Stone Age before the earthquake, now they’re just prehistoric.

It’s easy to forget how good we’ve got it here in the USA when you can sit and sip on an $8 latte, flip on the cruise control during a long drive, and make millions of dollars for appearing in 33 pro basketball games.

It’s clear that if Paul Shirley’s home is ever destroyed by a tornado, he won’t get much pity from anyone here. Hey, he should have bought a stronger house.

Here is a full list of ways you can help the people of Haiti

UPDATE: I’m not alone in my assessment of this situation as ESPN has just fired Paul Shirley from his freelance position.

In a statement, the network writes: “The views he expressed on another site of course do not at all reflect our company’s views on the Haiti relief efforts. He will no longer contribute to ESPN.”