North Korea Wages War on Dolphins

Evil Dolphins

So what was everyone worried about anyway?

All this time President Obama has feared that North Korea was working on a missile program in hopes of someday launching a missile onto U.S. soil.

As it turns out, North Koreans are actually quite pissed off at dolphins.

So much so in fact, that they fired their new Taepodong-2 long-range missile right into the Pacific Ocean.

It's no wonder that they hate the dolphins, with that annoying, high-pitched clicking noise that they make and the way they try to wave to people at Sea World.  They think they're so cute.

Well, so long and thanks for all the fish.  The dolphins are said to be working on a counter-offensive.  Never underestimate marine mammals.

The launch is being heralded as an overwhelming success in North Korea, although U.S. military officials are calling it an epic failure.  Still, the ability to push a rocket even close to U.S. soil is obviously disconcerting.

As the New York Times states:

North Korea’s public portrayal of the event as a complete success was similar in its celebratory tone to the happy note it struck in 1998 after having failed to loft a satellite into orbit.

A general rule of engineering is that failures reveal more than successes. If so, North Korea — which has now test-fired three long-range rockets, each time unsuccessfully — is learning a lot about limitations.

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