Mermaids Don’t Exist: NOAA Posts Official ‘Captain Obvious’ Message (VIDEO)

Gee, thanks for clearing that up.

For some reason, the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration felt it necessary at the end of last month to post an official message confirming that mermaids don’t exist.

How dumbed down has our society become that the NOAA felt it was necessary to publicly address this?

All the commotion is likely due to the recent Animal Planet program Mermaids: The Body Found, which hints at government cover-ups and rogue scientists.

One scene even depicts cell phone footage supposedly taken by two youths along a Washington state beach. The grainy video shows a human hand next to what seems to be a beached sea creature – and it turns out to be alive! Shocking!

But it’s not real, and neither are mermaids.

The NOAA released the following statement at the end of June:

The belief in mermaids may have arisen at the very dawn of our species. Magical female figures first appear in cave paintings in the late Paleolithic (Stone Age) period some 30,000 years ago, when modern humans gained dominion over the land and, presumably, began to sail the seas. Half-human creatures, called chimeras, also abound in mythology — in addition to mermaids, there were wise centaurs, wild satyrs, and frightful minotaurs, to name but a few.

But are mermaids real? No evidence of aquatic humanoids has ever been found. Why, then, do they occupy the collective unconscious of nearly all seafaring peoples? That’s a question best left to historians, philosophers, and anthropologists.

So there you have it. Mermaids don’t exist – and neither do werewolves or vampires, just for the record.

Related articles

• Federal Agency Squashes Mermaid Rumors (huffingtonpost.com)
• U.S. Government Denies Evidence of Mermaids, So Mermaids Definitely Exist [Mermaids] (gawker.com)
• Relax, The Government Says Mermaids Are Not Real (geardiary.com)
• NOAA Denies Existence of Mermaids (news.discovery.com)