CDC Denies Zombie Apocalypse, Despite Bizarre Incidents (ZOMBIE TRACKER)

Sure, there are some bizarre things going on, but apparently there is no zombie apocalypse to speak of.

Even though people are eating other people’s faces and vital organs, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention says there is no zombie outbreak.

“CDC does not know of a virus or condition that would reanimate the dead (or one that would present zombie-like symptoms),” wrote agency spokesman David Daigle in an email to The Huffington Post.

Still, recent events have internet users in a frenzy, with “zombie apocalypse” being Google’s third-most popular search term this morning.

Let’s break down what we’ve seen so far:

5/18/11: CDC releases “tongue-in-cheek” manual on how to survive the Zombie Apocalypse.

5/16/12: Mysterious rashes begin to appear on students at Miami McArthur High School.

5/19/12: 41-year-old zombie-in-training, Dr. Zachary Bird, arrested by the Florida Highway Patrol, spits blood in a police officer’s face.

5/19/12: Fort Lauderdale-Hollywood International Airport – HAZMAT crews dispatched for “unknown chemical,” five people rushed to the hospital.

5/25/12: “Disoriented” Canadian man arrested aboard an American Airlines flight after he attempted to rush the cockpit (hmm, the plane had just landed in Miami).

5/26/12: Homeless man has 80 percent of his face eaten off by deranged, naked man.

5/30/12: 21-year-old Alexander Kinyua of Maryland admits to dismembering his roommate and eating his heart and brain.

5/30/12: Gay porn actor allegedly kills man with ice pick, dismembers body, eats flesh from the corpse, mails body parts.

5/30/12: New Jersey resident Wayne Carter disembowels himself and throws his own intestines at police.

5/31/12: San Antonio woman beheads 3-week-old son, eats part of his brain.

6/1/12: CDC releases official statement – There is no zombie outbreak.

Here’s a map of all the latest zombie-like occurrences, courtesy of The Daily Beast (note: avoid Florida!)…

The Cranberries: Zombie

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