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Anonymous

In a perplexing twist, the internet group known only as “Anonymous” now denies giving an ultimatum to Fred Phelps and the Westboro Baptist Church.

Over the weekend, it seemed like the two sides were destined to clash, especially after Phelps’ granddaughter issued a rather inflammatory tweet in response to what was thought to be an Anonymous ultimatum.

Now, though, the clan has issued what they are calling a real press release, stating the following (click to enlarge):

UPDATE: One of the WBC websites has crashed, related?

Follow the latest on the Anonymous vs. WBC story here

Dear Phred Phelps and WBC Phriends,

So we’ve been hearing a lot about some letter that we supposedly sent you this morning. Problem is,
we’re a bit groggy and don’t remember sending it. Our best guess is that you heard about us on that
newfangled TV of yours and thought we might be some good money for your little church.

You thought you could play with Anonymous. You observed our rising notoriety and thought you
would exploit our paradigm for your own gain. And then, you thought you could lure some idiots into a
honeypot for more IPs to sue.

This is not so foreign to us; as you may have heard, we trade in Lulz. You just do not have enough to
offer right now.

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While Anonymous thanks you for your interest, and would certainly like to take a break and have some
fun with you guys, we have more pressing matters to deal with at the moment.

But, we will keep this application on file, and will certainly contact you if any openings become
available in future.

Next time, don’t call us. We’ll call you.

Additionally, as your “Press Release” failed to understand: When Anonymous says we support free
speech, we mean it. We count Beatrice Hall among our Anonymous forebears: “I disapprove of what
you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it.”

Do some among our number hate you and your cynical exploitation of your human rights for monetary
gain? Of course. But the MoralFags are also the first to admit that they are, in fact, your rights to
exploit.

In closing, let us assure you: We are not BAWWWING sissies, nor are we afraid of your false god;
we’re just really busy. Stay tuned, and we’ll come back to play another day.
We promise.

To the Media: Just because it was posted on AnonNews doesn’t mean every single Anon is in
agreement, in fact in this case it doesn’t even mean a single Anon is in agreement. Next time, if you
could give us a few minutes to put all our paperwork in order, we’ll be sure to let you know what we’re
up to. (LOL)

To Anonymous: It’s a trap. They’ve got their ports wide open to harvest IPs to sue. Don’t DDoS, and
boycott Operation Westboro. If you really want to continue messing with them, just send them a few
male prostitutes and faxes of goatse. Nothing more.

(Note: This letter was written by more than 20 Anons, at the same time, and none of them were inbred
family members. Unlike that other, sh-tty “Press Release”.)

We are Anonymous.
We are legion.
We do not forgive.
We do not forget.
Expect us.

So, if you were hoping to see Anonymous vs. the WBC, you’ll just have to wait until it becomes available on Pay-Per-View. That’s all folks. Nothing more to see here.

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