Paul Jury has thrown together a pretty funny collection of those quirky differences that make the United States of America great.
The video is a promo piece for his new book “States of Confusion: My 19,000-Mile Detour to Find Direction“. We think you’ll find that most of these are pretty dead-on accurate.
He even hit our home state of Maryland right on the head…except it’s crabs, Paul, not lobsters.
In case you missed any, check the transcript down below, courtesy of our friends over at Reddit…and be sure to check out Paul’s new book “States of Confusion“.
If you loved these, check out 51 awesome state slogans here.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h68UJaHvG_c
- Alabama – Our state bird is the NASCAR.
- Alaska – I can see seasonal depression from here.
- Arizona – Keeping Indians in and Mexicans out!
- Arkansas – Great scenery, brilliant people…. I’m sorry, we got Walmart.
- California – Gay Mexican boob job computer hippies that really want to direct…
- Colorado – SNOW, I mean cocaine. We’re also known for skiing.
- Connecticut – Great schools, because there is nothing else to do.
- Delaware – Come, we’ve got low incorporation fees. No seriously. Please come.
- Florida – The more north you go the more south it gets.
- Georgia – Atlanta! We’re kind of ashamed of the rest of it, though.
- Hawaii – If you lived here, you’d be lazy too.
- Idaho – Potatoes and Napolean Dynamite… god we’re cool!
- Illinois – Look! A non-corrupt politician, for once, so far.
- Indiana – You have to drive through us to get to somewhere better.
- Iowa – 56,000 square miles of dull.
- Kansas – White-breds making wheat bread.
- Kentucky – Farming from the future; textbooks from 1925.
- Louisiana – Thanks BP, like we didn’t have enough problems.
- Maine – A wicked lot of moose, eh?
- Maryland – Have Jeeves bring the lobster boat around.
- Massachusettes – Our chief export is obnoxious Pats fans. (corrected)
- Michigan – Cereal makers, serial killers.
- Minnesota – Too nice NOT to elect douche-y governors.
- Mississippi – I’m gonna need a bigger bible belt.
- Missouri – We’re #1!…. in… meth. (corrected)
- Montana – Speed limits don’t matter when you’re drunk.
- Nebraska – Footballs, drawls, and overalls…
- Nevada – No laws, no problem. Except all the murders…
- New Hampshire – Half hippy, half French, all upper class.
- New Jersey – GTL (Guidos, turnpikes, and leeching off New York)
- New Mexico – Like regular Mexico, but with more UFO’s.
- New York – World’s 14th biggest city, first biggest ego.
- North Carolina – First in flight and lung cancer.
- North Dakota – Somehow even worse than South Dakota.
- Ohio – People care about us at election time…?
- Oklahoma – 10 days tornado free!
- Oregon – Dreadlocks on caucasians.
- Pennsylvania – Even our Almish will fight you.
- Rhode Island – No seriously! We’re a state!
- South Carolina – Still accepting Confederate dollars.
- South Dakota – …. at least we’re not North Dakota.
- Tennessee – Where white people music comes from.
- Texas – Everything is bigger, even our morons.
- Utah – Multiple homely wives.
- Vermont – Gay marriages on maple syrup farms.
- Virginia – Center of civilization to hicks-ville in 20 minutes flat.
- Washington – Richer hippies than Oregon.
- West Virginia – Inbred lovechild of Virginia and DC.
- Wisconsin – It’s too cold to be sober.
- Wyoming – We don’t have any gay cowboys, alright? Okay, maybe a few gay cowboys…
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