More here: Funny Lists
1. Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July fifteenth.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.
2. Q: This myasthenia gravis — does it affect your memory at all?
A: Yes.
Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
A: I forget.
Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you’ve forgotten?
3. Q: All your responses must be oral, okay? What school did you go to?
A: Oral.
4. Q: How old is your son — the one living with you.
A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which.
Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: Forty-five years.
5. Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning?
A: He said, ”Where am I, Cathy?”
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.
6. Q: Sir, what is your IQ? A: Well, I can see pretty well, I think.
7. Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in the voodoo occult?
A: We both do.
Q: Voodoo?
A: We do.
Q: You do?
A: Yes, voodoo.
8. Q: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?
9. Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?
10. Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?
11. Q: Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war?
12. Q: Did he kill you?
13. Q: How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?
14. Q: You were there until the time you left, is that true?
15. Q: How many times have you committed suicide?
16. Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
A: Yes.
Q: And what were you doing at that time?
17. Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?
18. Q: You say the stairs went down to the basement?
A: Yes.
Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?
19. Q: Mr. Slatery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn’t you?
A: I went to Europe, sir.
Q: And you took your new wife?
20. Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
21. Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this a male, or a female?
22. Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your atorney?
A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
23. Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.
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