funny signs

Actual signs from actual businesses across the U.S. Work is more enjoyable when you’ve got a good sense of humor.

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1. Sign over a gynecologist’s office:
“Dr. Jones, at your cervix.”

2. On a Plumber’s truck:
“We repair what your husband fixed.”

3. On the trucks of a local plumbing company in NE Pennsylvania:
“Don’t sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.”

4. Pizza shop slogan:
“7 days without pizza makes one weak.”

5. At a tire shop in Milwaukee:
“Invite us to your next blowout.”

6. Door of a plastic surgeon’s office:
“Hello. Can we pick your nose?”

7. At a laundry shop:
“How about we refund your money, send you a new one at no charge, close the store and have the manager shot. Would that be satisfactory?”

8. At a towing company:
“We don’t charge an arm and a leg. We want tows.”

9. On an electrician’s truck:
“Let us remove your shorts.”

10. In a nonsmoking area:
“If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.”

11. On a maternity room door:
“Push. Push. Push.”

12. At an optometrist’s office:
“If you don’t see what you’re looking for, you’ve come to the right place.”

13. On a taxidermist’s window:
“We really know our stuff.”

14. In a podiatrist’s office:
“Time wounds all heels.”

15. On a fence:
“Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive.”

16. At a car dealership:
“The best way to get back on your feet – miss a car payment.”

17. Outside a muffler shop:
“No appointment necessary. We hear you coming.”

18. In a veterinarian’s waiting room:
“Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!”

19. At the electric company:
“We would be de-lighted if you send in your bill. However, if you don’t, you will be.”

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