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1. People come up to you and say, “You know. . . you’re really ugly”.
2. People always asking you, “Who hit you with a pick-ax?”
3. You only go on blind dates. . . with men who are actually blind.
4. Every time you go on a date, the guy brings a 10 foot pole.
5. The police give you a ticket for indecent exposure. . . of your face.
6. They use your picture as an antidote for Viagra overdoses.
7. The last time you were mounted. . . was by a horse jockey.
8. You ask the beautician at a cosmetics counter for something that will make your face more appealing. She hands you a bag.
9. Even Linda Tripp feels sorry for you.
10. Even Tiger Woods won’t hit on you.
11. Grocery clerks ask if you want paper or plastic. . . over your head.
12. People ask you how long you’ve had that flesh eating bacteria on your face.
13. Men look at you and say “dynamite. . . probably hit your face!”
14. After you die, Michael Jackson wants your bones.
15. The grocery store gives you a paper bag when you ENTER the store.
16. Your last name is “Duckling”.
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