Men. We can easily become bored out of minds while our girlfriends or wives are shopping. Here are a few things you can do to spice things up a bit.
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1. Take boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people’s carts when they weren’t looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to tampons section.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him or her in an official tone, “‘Code 3′ in housewares,” and watch to see what happens.
5. Go up to the service desk and ask to put a bag of M&M’s on lay-away.
6. Move a ‘CAUTION – WET FLOOR’ sign to a carpeted area.
7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell shoppers you’ll invite them in if they’ll bring pillows from the bedding department.
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8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin crying and ask, “Why can’t you people just leave me alone?”
9. Look directly into the security camera, use it as a mirror, pick your nose, eat it.
10. While handling guns in the sporting goods department, ask the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.
11. Dart around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the theme to “Mission Impossible”.
12. In the auto department, practice his “Madonna look” using different sized funnels.
13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, yell “PICK ME!” “PICK ME!”
14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream, “NO! NO! It’s those voices again!!!”
15. Go into a fitting room, shut the door, wait a while, then yell very loudly, “There is no toilet paper in here!”
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