12 Things You Don’t Want to Hear from Tech Support

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12. ‘Do you have a sledgehammer or brick handy?’

11. ‘… that’s right, not even MacGyver could fix it.’

10. ‘So — what are you wearing?’

9. ‘Bummer Duuuuuuuude’

8. ‘Looks like you’re gonna need some new dilythium crystals, Cap’n.’

7. ‘Press 1 for Support, Press 2 if you’re with 60 Minutes, Press 3 if you’re with the FTC’

6. ‘We can fix this, but you’re gonna need a butter knife, a roll of duct tape, and a car battery.’

5. ‘I’m sorry, Dave. I’m afraid I can’t do that.’

4. ‘In layman’s terms, we call that the Hindenburg Effect.’

3. ‘ Hold on a second……. Mom! Timmy’s hitting me!’

2. ‘Okay, turn to page 523 in your copy of Dianetics.’

1. ‘Please hold for Mr. Gates’ attorney.’